Born Too Soon: Jayla's Story
Justice, Jayla, and Joanna
by Yolande Morris
Each year, 15 million babies worldwide are born prematurely, and more than 1 million die due to complications from premature birth. In the U.S., almost 1 in every 10 infants is born premature or born before 37 completed weeks of pregnancy. A full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks. Because they are born too early, preemies weigh much less than full-term babies. They may have health problems because their organs did not have enough time to develop.
So for many pregnant women, hearing that you are going into preterm labor is terrifying knowing that the end result can be a birth defect or worse - death. For Joanna Addison, a young wife and mother in the U.K., she did the only thing she knew how to do - she prayed for a miracle. Read more of her story below.
Yolande: Thanks for talking with us today, Joanna. Tell us, what was your initial reaction when you found out that you were pregnant?
Joanna: So so happy! We had decided to wait before trying for a baby. So it was five years into our marriage that we thought, “Let's bring a little person into the mix.” So on seeing that ‘pregnant’ label on the test, I was thrilled!
Yolande: What did the doctors tell you about your pregnancy?
Joanna: It was a perfectly normal pregnancy. I went for all my usual check-ups and nothing was wrong. We heard the heartbeat, we saw the early scans - everything was perfect. All I had to worry about was navigating the horror that is morning sickness but apart from that - life was going exactly as it should be.
Yolande: When did you know something was wrong?
Joanna: We were over at a friends’ house when I had a little spotting. I had heard from friends who had had babies before me that this could happen, so I didn't actually freak out. We excused ourselves and called 111 service (UK non-emergency medical helpline), They told us to say home and they sent an ambulance to have us checked out. When they arrived, there was no more blood and on listening to the baby's heartbeat everything seemed fine. So they told us not to worry. So I didn’t.
It was only the following day when the same thing happened, that I thought - we probably should go see a doctor. But again, I didn't really feel overly concerned at all. It wasn’t until I got to the hospital and was examined that I realized - something is really wrong. It was the look in the doctor's eyes when she finished examining me that made my heart stop. For whatever reason, my cervix was opening too soon, and the baby (they said) would be born any moment. The midwife with eyes full of compassion hugged me and said, “I am so sorry - sometimes these things happen.” I remember being angry that she said that - nothing has happened yet my spirit almost screamed. But on the outside, I chose to respond to her compassion instead, and smiled, and said thank you.
They offered us a moment along - we said thank you. As soon as the door closed I turned my eyes up and looked at my husband - I felt my eyes watering and opened my mouth to say something like ‘im scared or what just happened’ but before I could speak he covered me, literally covered me in an embrace and just started praying. I felt the sense of despair lifting and I opened my mouth and started praying too. We prayed for what felt like hours - but turns out it was just 20 minutes. I could feel the atmosphere shifting and I could feel our faith rising - rising in trust of our God. We were not alone in this.
Praying for a Miracle
Yolande: When Jayla came at 23 weeks - did you fear the worst?
Joanna: So, even before she was born - we already had seen miracles. The scene I described in the hospital - I was only 22+6 weeks pregnant. And they told us that there were some injections that they could give me that would help to strengthen some of the baby’s organs to give them a better chance of surviving if they were born early. Unfortunately, they would only offer this if I was at least 23 weeks pregnant. It was 9 PM and I was three hours away from midnight when I would be 23 weeks pregnant. Because the doctors were sure from the examination and the blood loss I had since had upon being in the hospital, there was no way the baby was going to make it or that I would reach midnight without her being born - it, therefore, seemed a hopeless exercise for them to give the injections. I remember saying - that's ok, I will wait. And we did. The hours went by, and the baby stayed put - so I got the injections. The first of the pre-birth miracles.
From there, there were a series of events that continued to boost my faith. We had such favor with the medical staff. We had amazing doctors and nurses. And yes, many were doing their job trying to prepare us in case of the worst. But I kept repeating to them, I appreciate your help to try and prepare us, but I am hoping for the best. A few days passed by - baby heartbeat and vitals still strong, me doing ok and the medics were all surprised. I was then offered a procedure that would try to re-close my cervix that could potentially mean carrying the baby for the remainder of the second term and possibly third. I went for it. It was extremely painful, but I had worship music loud in the theater the whole time and kept smiling. I was glad - it was another victory.
Unfortunately, a few more days passed by and my infection markers started to skyrocket. This was one of the unfortunate possible issues with the procedure I had had. They worried that if they went higher, I was at great risk of sepsis. The baby was estimated to be about less than 400g (1 lb) at that point - and they told me, the likelihood of surviving was so so low - as at least if they were 500g, it could be possible - but even then, she would be considered extremely premature with no guarantee of survival or surviving without complications. I asked them to give me 24 hours. They told me there wasn't much point, I could be at risk of death and I was the priority. But I asked again, and with sad faces, they agreed under the condition that I was fully monitored by a nurse during that time and any signs of sepsis and they would act. I agreed.
That night we prayed - and sang - and prayed. We quietly held hands. We spoke about random things. We prayed again. We slept. It was a night I won't forget.
The following morning we got the results of another set of blood tests. My markers were dangerously high. At this level, they need to act. I felt peace this time. So we said yes, induce me. Long story short - the baby was born soon after weighing 555g (about 1 lb 2oz) when I was 23+4.
So you see - that 23-weeker weighing barely more than a block of butter, was an answer to prayer. An answer to our prayers seven days ago when they told us the child would not make it past the night. Our answer to prayer when they said they would be less than 400g was miraculously 150g bigger (the doctors still scratch heads over that). So - in that moment of her birth - I was filled with JOY. I was so so happy. Because, at that moment - all I could see was life.
Yolande: How has this experience strengthened your faith? Your marriage?
Joanna: It’s an incredible sensation to see yourself put in the depth of fire, and find that what you profess has stood true. It bathes you with gratitude and inner strength that can never be robbed. I can honestly say that my faith will never be the same again. And that's not just a faith that God works miracles. But a faith that God keeps his own. That he rescues us from despair. That he holds us in our pain and in our worst thoughts. It is ‘faith in God’, a trusting of him that has been strengthened. I thank him every day for our miracle baby - but I also thank him for every day that he has kept me and is keeping me, big moments, or not. I never fully appreciated God's keeping grace as I do now.
Our marriage has definitely been blessed and strengthened. It's again been a beautiful thing to see us stripped back and know that we have each others’ backs no matter what. There were times when following some procedures, I could barely move, couldn't even clean myself - and he was there. When the other felt weak, the other would hold you. When we both felt spent, we would fall on our knees together. We discovered more of each other - we discovered a deeper appreciation for each other and our dedication to each other.
Yolande: What do you want to say to the women out there who might go through a similar experience?
Joanna: I know the heart-breaking feeling. The feeling of your excitement in pregnancy being washed away in this flood of information, statistics, and likelihoods. I know what it's like to see this tiny little baby, no bigger than a ruler - lying there covered in wires and surrounded by machines. I know it's hard, and it's ok to cry. It's ok to reach out in pain to those you love and who love you and say, hold me because this is hard.
My prayer for you is that in that pain, you will not be lost. That hope will find you and vice versa. That you hold onto it and refuse to let go. That you remember that your ‘someday’ will eventually become your today. Celebrate the little victories. Keep track of the everyday successes. These will help on the hard days on the long days. Find what helps you unwind - even in this, you need to take care of yourself to be able to give of yourself. So try not to carry the world on your shoulders (as we women often do). Lay down those burdens each day. God loves you - incredibly so - and he loves your child. We named my daughter Jayla, which means God will protect. And every time I would feel a bit helpless to ‘make things right’, I would remind myself of her name. I would say to her,
Jayla...I love you with every fiber in me, but God loves you more. And he will protect you
Sometimes you don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. So, celebrate that strength when you see it. Praise God and rejoice. And on the days when you feel, you are tired, you have nothing left...lean in and cling fast. He won't let you go. It's a journey, but you are not alone.
Happily Ever Before
Yolande: How did you meet Justice?
Joanna: We met at University - I was a first-year law student and he was a third-year Computer Sciences student. Funnily enough, it was my sister who introduced us. She was a final year at the same University and I had gone with her to her church which met on the campus. I remember she was introducing me to people after the service and then a guy who had been playing the drums caught my eye - ‘Who is that’? I asked. She told me his name was Justice and offered to introduce me...I remember we walked up to each other and smiled and said hello. There was no magic moment of love then and there, haha, but I remember thinking what a kind smile he had and we became really good friends.
For two years, that is all we were - great friends in the same church. But two years in, it was summertime and he had traveled to Ghana. I remember I was at home texting him and we were chatting away when my sister walked in and said ‘Let me guess, Justice?’ with a smile on her face. I got defensive and was like … ‘yeah, so…we are just friends, Akaliza.’ I remember her saying, ‘are you sure?. And it suddenly dawned on me like a bucket of cold water that I had fallen for the guy. I was totally unimpressed because at the time I was so like ‘just you and me Jesus taking on the world!’ and, I wasn't looking for romance. But it found me. That summer, I realized that it wasn't even just a crush, I was like wow, I proper like this guy. Thankfully, shortly after summer when we saw each other again at Church, it turns out he rather fancied me back (phew!) because it didn't take long until he asked me to be his girl….and I said yes :)
Yolande: When did you know he was the One?
I remember the exact day when I knew he was the One. It was almost one month into us dating. It was his birthday and I had planned a meal out for us. I remember sitting across the table from him, and amid the laughter, conversation, and googly eyes, thinking really calmly - yes, this is the man I want to partner my life with. And in my heart, mind, and spirit, I just knew that I knew that I knew.
I should say we had been friends for 2 and a bit years. We knew each other well. And when we started dating, we were dating with intention. So from the start of our relationship, we knew that it was about spending time together, enjoying each others’ company, yes, but with the end goal of discovering if this is someone who I would like to marry. If it gets quite a few months down the line and you can't answer that - you gotta step back and go, well - what's the point cause you're just then building up emotion with nowhere planned or safe to house it? So for me, it was such a sweet sense of joy to have that moment so early on in the relationship when I thought, wow, yes he's the one for me. We were officially engaged a year and a half later.
How to Care Deeply: Maternal and ‘Preemie’ Care
Yolande: Our theme for this year is "Care" and really empowering women to care for themselves in all areas of their lives - including maternal care. How did you care for yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually during your pregnancy and now as a new mom?
Joanna: During my pregnancy - I tried to not be a superwoman everyday lol. Tried, didn't always succeed - sometimes I would just take way too much on. But, as the weeks went on, I learned that a healthy me is the best me. This includes saying no to everything if all I wanted to do that night was throw up, eat M&Ms and watch reruns on TV. I also remember going into my director's office one afternoon to just ask for the rest of the day off cause I just couldn't handle going back and forth from the restroom every time someone opened a tuna sandwich lol. It was also learning to be kind to myself - if I felt I wasn't doing as much as I usually should, I would remind myself, ‘Hold on a moment, there is a human growing inside me - that's more than I've done before. Chill girl. It's ok.’
In many ways, the same goes for now as a new mom. This is new territory for me. I am learning and some days I feel like supermom, and other days I feel like I'm losing my senses. But the more I grow, the better I get. Though kids like to send curve balls every time they see you getting a knack for it lol. Anyway, all in all, I think knowing that I was designed to be her mother gives me great confidence - God knew when he was forming her that I would be her Mama, so if God thinks I got this - I better well believe it, lol. Help is also an asset to not waste. If you have friends, family, etc who can lend a helping hand, soak it in. Community life is so great. I remember once when Jayla was 4 months old and I got a dear friend to come to take her for a walk in her pram while I had a manicurist come home to give me a mani/pedi and massage. I swear I felt like a new woman lol.
Yolande: What are your hopes for Jayla in the future. What are some of the things that you are believing God for?
Joanna: In a nutshell, my hope for Jayla is that she would know God. She would know his love and grace in a way that blows apart the constraints of self-doubt or striving-for-purpose that living in this world so easily brings. That she will know who designed her. Know she was designed with love. Know that she was destined with purpose.
I want her to be happy, to be kind, and to be full of grace to all she encounters. I want her to know that working well at the opportunities set before you does reap a reward. I want her to know that building relationships and investing in people's lives lasts longer than any material gain. And I want her to know that God in his grace, will always protect her - just as her name says He will.
I believe God has a purpose to her story and I pray that we and her would know it and live it in whatever way she and we are meant to.
References:
https://www.marchofdimes.org/mission/the-global-problem-of-premature-birth.aspx The Global Problem of Premature Birth. March of Dimes. Retrieved September 23, 2020.
https://www.who.int/pmnch/knowledge/publications/preterm_birth_report/en/index3.html Born Too Soon: The Global Action Report on Preterm Birth. Retrieved September 23, 2020.
